week 17

My dreams are not dreams... actually all of my so called dreams are more like night mares... I can't quite remember the last time that I had a dream.... usually my dreams involve me and my family or someone breaking into my house and killing me... actually I had a dream that it was one of my best friends that shot me... I had another dream that my dad was actually trying to run me over with a tractor... I also have a dream that repeats all of the time that takes place back at my old house and I was in my garage... long story short a guy in a limo with a few guys, kind of like gangsters, show up in my garage and makes an effort to knock the door down. I also have a dream sometimes about my old house where bad guys broke into my house and I try to find a place to hide but I end up being found and killed... usually when I'm killed I quit breathing in my sleep because I am actually convinced that I am dead but I make an effort to wake up because I cant breath... I also have had "dreams about my mom doing drugs... which I am not sure why I would have that dream because my mom would never do that stuff... shes way too innocent and religious and just yeah.. not her.... and like I said I don't actually have dreams nor do I remember if I ever have had a good dream so that is why I am writing about my nightmares.... I also have dreams (nightmares) about my boyfriend doing bad things and then when I wake up sometimes I forget that it was just a dream and that I start thinking it actually happened and my boyfriend just thinks I am crazy when I accuse him of something he never did,,, but later I come to realization that it was my dream from the other night... I don't know... I have a lot of messed up things that go through my head at night... sometimes it makes me feel like they are partially true and that it will happen to me.. so I have been convinced that the way I am going to die is from a murder since I always have night mares about it.